My family hates me. They despise me. I am worth less than the shit they flush down the toilet everyday. But they hate me much more.
My scent irritates them. My very presence makes them rage. The beating of my heart is too loud for them. My breaths are a currency that I am quickly running out of and they refuse to loan me anymore. But I don't deserve anymore. I'm not perfect like them.
I understand though. I know why. It's because I have no job, and I'm costing them lots of money; Money is everything in this household. And it should be, as it dictates whether we live or die. I deserve what I get, and I am eternally grateful for what they give me.
They don't know that I can sense them, though. I can sense every single thing they feel about me. It used to hurt. It would kill me inside, burning my intestines and raping my heart.
I remember the first time I felt it. What they really are, what they really feel, what they really think of me.I wanted so badly to be invisible; I still do, it's my greatest wish.
I tried to kill myself twice that night. Little did I know it would be the first attempt of many. And I cried for days. Days and days where my tears would never end. It hurt so much and I couldn't breathe. I thought I was finally dying like I wanted.
Unfortunately I didn't.
I just fainted like a weak fool and She woke me up. It was the first time we met.
After that, They came. They laughed at me, taunted me, angered me. I've never been so angry before in my life. And I hated myself because I was angry at myself. They were only here because of my own imperfections, weakness, and foolishness. They feed on that. And then they gain strength. They change me. They tell me to give into my other self; The dark one. I don't like her. Though she has no imperfections, just like She, she does things a bit different than everyone else.
She's much more instinctual than us. Those that dislike her die. Instantly. They keep trying to push me over towards her so I can kill my family. To draw her out, they fill my head with gruesome images that would make Hitler and the Devil himself cry. It worked once. She and I fought her until my last breath. Blood is the only thing that keeps her inside. My blood, of course. I almost ended up dying that day. It was nice, nothing too fancy, but peaceful.
I only fainted though, just another show of my weakness. They taunted my again for it all the while feeding on my imperfections.
I'll show them. She and I will show them. I will erase my imperfections and laugh as They starve to death. How wonderful it will be.
But, I'm a bit afraid. If I have no imperfections I may end up like She, which is what I'm hoping for. But what if I don't. After all, the dark one has no imperfections either.
My scent irritates them. My very presence makes them rage. The beating of my heart is too loud for them. My breaths are a currency that I am quickly running out of and they refuse to loan me anymore. But I don't deserve anymore. I'm not perfect like them.
I understand though. I know why. It's because I have no job, and I'm costing them lots of money; Money is everything in this household. And it should be, as it dictates whether we live or die. I deserve what I get, and I am eternally grateful for what they give me.
They don't know that I can sense them, though. I can sense every single thing they feel about me. It used to hurt. It would kill me inside, burning my intestines and raping my heart.
I remember the first time I felt it. What they really are, what they really feel, what they really think of me.I wanted so badly to be invisible; I still do, it's my greatest wish.
I tried to kill myself twice that night. Little did I know it would be the first attempt of many. And I cried for days. Days and days where my tears would never end. It hurt so much and I couldn't breathe. I thought I was finally dying like I wanted.
Unfortunately I didn't.
I just fainted like a weak fool and She woke me up. It was the first time we met.
After that, They came. They laughed at me, taunted me, angered me. I've never been so angry before in my life. And I hated myself because I was angry at myself. They were only here because of my own imperfections, weakness, and foolishness. They feed on that. And then they gain strength. They change me. They tell me to give into my other self; The dark one. I don't like her. Though she has no imperfections, just like She, she does things a bit different than everyone else.
She's much more instinctual than us. Those that dislike her die. Instantly. They keep trying to push me over towards her so I can kill my family. To draw her out, they fill my head with gruesome images that would make Hitler and the Devil himself cry. It worked once. She and I fought her until my last breath. Blood is the only thing that keeps her inside. My blood, of course. I almost ended up dying that day. It was nice, nothing too fancy, but peaceful.
I only fainted though, just another show of my weakness. They taunted my again for it all the while feeding on my imperfections.
I'll show them. She and I will show them. I will erase my imperfections and laugh as They starve to death. How wonderful it will be.
But, I'm a bit afraid. If I have no imperfections I may end up like She, which is what I'm hoping for. But what if I don't. After all, the dark one has no imperfections either.
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